Isaiah 53:6 tells us that "all we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all." Over the last 6 months there has been an underlying theme to the questions and comments that have been made to us as we seek what the Lord would have us do in the twilight years of our existence upon this mortal coil. The theme is a negative one but usually comes from great concern and interest in what we are doing. Some simply tell me that God is good which I am already fully aware of whilst others are as confused as I am.
We were very happy in Ogmore-by-Sea even though there were the problems of life to contend with. For the last three years we were made increasingly aware of our time there coming to an end and so when the opportunity was made to come to work in the community of Looe within what I believed then to be a great evangelistic opportunity it seemed good to us and we believe to the Lord that we come and work within the Rusty Bucket Christian Resource Centre as development manager. It very quickly became obvious to me that all was not what we had been led to believe and due to a number of serious issues I believed it right to resign from my position.
From that moment on Pam and I have felt like "two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year!" (Pink Floyd if you wandered!) We are soon to move from this fish bowl into another house and maybe some clarity as to our future. A number of well meaning Christians ask what we are doing, the simple answer to that is that we are convinced that God is good but my experience does not give me the same impression of some of His people. I am busy with FIEC visiting of local churches, and am about to help out in the local church and am involved with regular bible study. I am also speaking at a Christian Hotel in Llandudno but none of these things pay the bills. It would be quite something to go to the cashier at the local supermarket and expect them to accept a "God is good" cheque in return for our daily groceries.
What are we doing? We are trusting God which is almost impossible in the middle of the night in our cold sweat! I am riding a bike (thanks Dave and Jayne, you are great supporters and friends; among so many others.) I am on benefits, can you believe that God shows His goodness through the state. We are also preparing to move.
But we are still two lost souls swimming in this fish bowl! What are we to do? All that we can do is trust because God is really good and He has never let me down. But I do feel let down, not by Him but by some of His people, I have been mis-represented and am angry but the scripture tells me in my anger not to sin. But it does not tell me simply to be a doormat and to let others walk all over me and so it is now my policy to be blunt and honest with all who ask. I love many who have been involved in the RB, the staff that worked with me are the most fantastic group of people as are the current staff. I count many of the trustees as great friends and to some I am more indebted than I can ever say (thanks so much if you are ever to read this!) There is however an Alexander the copper smith (2 Timothy 4:14) amongst them and with him I am in contention. I fell that he has done me much harm and still mis-represents what i am about. We came with the gospel in our hearts and see a desperate need for real gospel input into Looe, perhaps a number of months confusion is preparation for God's work of grace even through us.
This post is not written in any malice but is clarifying my innermost thoughts, I recognize my own sinfulness and my propensity for contention but I would rather be a hundred miles from here right now but God is good and it seems that the only offer of accommodation is directly opposite the RB. That will take much grace but I pray that we might find the necessary grace needed and live in peace with those whom we totally disagree and that in our disagreement we might not be disagreeable. The gospel is at stake and we must as believers love each other as we love ourselves and by that Jesus is glorified.
Pray for me!
A picture of futility: This seagull and it's mate sit faithfully on this nest trying to hatch a decoy egg that has had the effect of preventing the female from laying. It is ironic to watch this played out on the chimney of the house that we will move into from the lofty position of the RB flat. I feel as if I have for the last 16 months been sitting on a decoy gospel opportunity and pray that the Lord will supply our every need and cause new gospel life to blossom and not dead promises.
Our trusty Ewenny cat that goes everywhere with us. It is of course concrete and dead as dead can be! If it had any life at all a bird would never defecate on it's head and get away with it. Point made!
What now? The day is over; the BBQ has been used and the food eaten. What now?
Preparation for another day!!!
Seeking that which is lost! I hate what these treasure hunters do, looking for things lost in the sand for their own benefit but as Christians we are to be treasure hunters for Jesus. He has sent us out to bring the lost treasure into His storage house, not for our glory but all for His. In this He is really Good!
Jesus said "I will make you fishers of men!" Not vicious old men! Beware.
Nothing is too small for God's attention.
The RNLI rescuer goes into the water to rescue a small insignificant tennis ball and with great pride throws it to his mate who than enjoys a game in the lifeboat station. The ball is accepted by them all.
What a great picture of what we are all about: saving lost souls swimming year after year in the fishbowl of sin. To many they are small and insignificant but to God they are precious and worth the highest price ever. We should take our rescue operation seriously because God in sending Jesus took His responsibility to us very seriously indeed.
We do not know but what we do know is that God is good and so now to pay for our groceries!!!!!